Despite being a moderately good-looking guy, I was a dysfunctional mess, when I first came to Asia – Korea, in particular. To teach English.

I came over with a plan, which was basically to try and blend in, without people seeing my dysfunctions.

During my first 6 months in Seoul, I met a lot of hot chicks, but they all seemed to see past my facade. So, I basically gave up trying to find chicks. And then, one night, I was sitting at home, staring at the walls, when I received a mysterious phone call. It was from a Korean woman.

She claimed to want English lessons, but was actually after a hard injection of expat tubesteak.

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Being a good Christian boy, I had never once considered paying a woman for sex. However, in the vamping humidity of the Bangkok sexpat bar scene, I'll have to admit: moral codes became blurred.

That's when I first met Planet Asia, or Futureguy, more specifically. He was sitting alone, in an open-air cafe on the tip of Soi Cowboy, as was I. We ended up chatting over a few beers, and then he made me an offer I couldn't refuse: an all-expenses paid tryst with a bargirl, in exchange for a full report about what happens inside go-go bars that specialize in the prostitution trade.

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